thursday’s thoughts

so today, I’m thinking about how hard it is to move on.  when do you know to walk away? when is it worth it? all stories have an end, and no one wants to be the person to end it.

life likes to stroll along and hit us.
hard.
life likes to hangout and then throw some crazy whacked out unexpected hurdle at us.  some are life changing experiences. some are having to buy new shoes because your horse took a drink of water only to walk over to your boots and spit said water in them instead.  each change ends up being gradual, and allows us to watch ourselves grow, as well as those around us.  life likes to lead us to crossroads where decisions have to be made.  these crossroads are where you sever ties, or make them stronger.

let’s talk relationships: there are going to be arguments.  you have to understand, that’s perfectly normal.  you know who agrees on everything?  no one. not a single person. relationships aren’t always perfect and peachy and sunshine and rainbows and happy.  if the arguments are more often, then maybe it’s just not right.  are you happy? do you feel healthy, accepted, and trusting?

friendships: the same contemplations apply here.  are you happy with your friend? do you have to spend every second of every day with them or can you leave town and come back later and pick up right where you left off?  do you feel like it’s jeopardizing your health and happiness?

my sister gave me some really good advice one day, and i’m about to blow your mind particles away:

if you don’t know, shut it down.

yes, of course that’s easier said than done, but just think about it.
do you know why you’re still with him even though he’s probably the worst thing in your life right now?  oh, you don’t? shut. it. down.
these people that you’ve been friends with, but you feel like you don’t quite belong with their crowd; why are you friends with them? you don’t know how to spend time alone?  that’s  exactly it.  you don’t know. again, shut it down.

now, i’m a hopeless romantic, and we all know how I feel about reasonless love, but that’s actually something completely different.
like, if someone asks you to name why you love your significant other and you say, “i don’t have a reason.”, that’s actually completely different.  you can have six million and seven reasons why you love them, but when you love someone, you don’t need a reason.  they’re your love.  you wouldn’t dare put simplistic words out in the world to describe something that is bigger than words.  that my friends, is the only time it’s okay to be like, “i don’t know.”

you should never put your physical or mental health in jeopardy. never.

now, i understand.  saying goodbye and severing ties isn’t an over-night, snap of the fingers decision.  this decision can change everything you’ve known.  i’m not saying it’s wrong, but rather just a sad, beautiful thing.  you get to spread your wings, start fresh.  go back to who you are, and start being who you want to become.
now, I would like to point out that relationships can be salvaged.  it just takes a few hardships to make you decide whether this is a good thing, or something you need to quit.

so here you are my friends; here’s to you, in this new year, where i know through everything; you’ll keep moving forward.

so seriously kids, keep moving.  be that fifteen year old girl that could take on everything.  that girl that people make fun of and shit on.  be that girl you were who would take all the energy that circulates the fire in your veins, and chose to love ferociously.  be the girl who  can take all the pain and suffering in the world, and use it to see the good in the world.  you’ve got this, whether the world is ready or not.
grow.
adjust.
change.

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