i’ve ruined myself for a lot of people that weren’t worth it.

Happy Monday, my lovelies!
It’s been a while since I’ve written, but I think it’s time to get back into it.  I’ve been a bit busy with school, work, and my gentleman friend who is terrifyingly perfect.

So, when I last left you I was discussing how to break off relationships, friendships, etcetera.  I know it’s difficult to know exactly when to break it off, so I’ve decided to write some very specific situations so you know that you can get rid of those toxic people in your life.  (I have used the term “best friend” but this can be replaced with other terms, “boyfriend”, “girlfriend” or whatever you’d like to use.)

  1. Best friends aren’t suppose to tell you that your laugh is too obnoxious, or that you talk too loud.
  2. Best friends aren’t suppose to embarrass you in front of people in order to make themselves look better.
  3. Best friends aren’t suppose to make you feel shitty about yourself or make you hide who you really are.
  4. Best friends aren’t suppose to negatively comment on things you cannot change about yourself.
  5. Best friends aren’t suppose to hurt you and damage you.
  6. Best friends ARE suppose to love you and make you feel comfortable in your own skin.
  7. Best friends ARE suppose to support you and back you up when you need it.
  8. Best friends should bring out your better side and reassure you that the way you are is good enough.

So, have you figured out if you’re a great friend? or if they’re just the biggest assholes in the world?  Once you know, shut it down.  It’s not your fault, it’s just common sense.
I’ve told my mother time and time again, that I have ruined myself for a lot of people that weren’t worth it.  At first, she thought I meant it sexually, but it’s more than that.
She knows that I’ve lost my virtue to someone that was emotionally abusive, so to say.  She didn’t know that I let others walk all over me, again, and again, and again.  She knows now that I’ve been complacent and pushed around more than anyone should ever allow.
She also knows exactly what to say.  When I’m feeling down, she knows that I immediately wish I could fix everything, and if I can’t, then I blame myself.
She knows to tell me that depression and self harm is anger turned inwards.  She knows that it’s ridiculous that Donald Trump can feel so confident and good about himself and I can’t, and that’s the realest sentence I’ve ever heard.

There is no reason that we shouldn’t be as self loving and confident as Donald Trump, and I think it’s time we start.  We are beautiful human creatures, and we deserve the world.

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