do you even feel sorry?

“you’re not acting like yourself no more.”

Hi kids! Folks..? Adults..?  rewind.
Hello, everyone!
It has come to my attention that when I initially started this, I was going to be a lifestyle blogger.  You know who didn’t do that?
Because I don’t even have a life to style to.. blog?
– I passed all my classes last semester.
– I am passing all my classes this semester.
– I am exactly one week away from graduating.
– I have what I assume to be my dream job.
Okay, well I haven’t actually started it yet, but it’s basically my dream job, just lined up and waiting for me once I graduate.  
And how many people can say that?
Probably a lot, but for me, to be this prepared for my future, well.. I’m excited.

My wordpress has moved from lifestyle blog towards heartfelt writings; excerpts from a book I’ll never write.
Some of the posts are terribly depressing.
Others are writings I’ve found in a journal I once kept.
Some may give off the wrong impression of how I’m doing.
And some are just ramblings of what I have learned.

I’m going to brag for a second, just because I can.
okay, so first of all, HOLY SHIT I AM GRADUATING.
I am graduating, and I am happy, and I am healthy, and I am whole.
I am heavy, and present, and real.
And if I continue on as I have been, I will be graduating with a 3.7 GPA.
Uh, hello?  I am so immensely proud of this.

This is a small achievement, in a small step towards my future.
No matter how small the progress is, it should be celebrated.
I am nowhere near where I was a year ago.
I no longer rely on drugs to balance the chemicals in my brain.
I celebrate small victories and never let the failures consume me.
I have never been more sure of myself, where I am, and where I’m going.
it is important to remember this.

know your worth.

you deserve flowers on your doorstep and coffee in the morning.
you deserve post-it notes left for you and ice-cream at 3.00 am.
you deserve honesty every day, and to be kissed every hour.
you deserve to be reminded how beautiful you are.

“Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.”

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