let’s get real

about eating disorder recovery for a minute.

For reference, I’m 5’4.5″ (I won’t post weights for the obvious and not so obvious reasons.) On the left I was near my lowest weight and I always felt like shit.
On the right, well, I still feel like shit some days, but definitely not as much.
I’m surely healthier now, but that mentality isn’t something that will ever fully go away.

Do I look like I’ve gained 15-20 pounds?
Probably; I have boobs, I have an ass, and my thighs that I had been so self conscious of all those years are clearly bigger.

Do I feel like I’ve gained 15-20 pounds?
Yes, but I also know it was necessary.

The thing is, not many people see this huge difference that I see.
Sure, people can tell, but can they tell how many pounds I was obsessed over?
Doubt it.
No one cares what your body looks like as nearly as much as you do.

Scales are stupid. Eating disorders are stupider.

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One thought on “let’s get real

  1. You are so right. When I weighed myself for the first time and saw how many pounds I’ve gained in recovery, I was blown away. The number had this huge effect on me, but then I realized literally no one around me knew or cared about that number. It didn’t even have a hold over me until I knew it.

    I’m happier now, and that’s all that matters.

    Proud of you!

    Like

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