let’s get real

about eating disorder recovery for a minute.

For reference, I’m 5’4.5″ (I won’t post weights for the obvious and not so obvious reasons.) On the left I was near my lowest weight and I always felt like shit.
On the right, well, I still feel like shit some days, but definitely not as much.
I’m surely healthier now, but that mentality isn’t something that will ever fully go away.

Do I look like I’ve gained 15-20 pounds?
Probably; I have boobs, I have an ass, and my thighs that I had been so self conscious of all those years are clearly bigger.

Do I feel like I’ve gained 15-20 pounds?
Yes, but I also know it was necessary.

The thing is, not many people see this huge difference that I see.
Sure, people can tell, but can they tell how many pounds I was obsessed over?
Doubt it.
No one cares what your body looks like as nearly as much as you do.

Scales are stupid. Eating disorders are stupider.


One thought on “let’s get real

  1. You are so right. When I weighed myself for the first time and saw how many pounds I’ve gained in recovery, I was blown away. The number had this huge effect on me, but then I realized literally no one around me knew or cared about that number. It didn’t even have a hold over me until I knew it.

    I’m happier now, and that’s all that matters.

    Proud of you!


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