last night, G and I got into an argument over Taylor Swift.
no. I’m not kidding.
Sadly, it has been weighing on my mind all day. I went to bed angry about it last night, I woke up being a grump, (to put it politely. His words, not mine. I was a cunt, in the worst way, and I need to apologize) and I am having a very hard time conveying why this argument has me so upset. Why freakin’ Taylor Swift has me so upset.
I know that I am overreacting. I am being ridiculous and unnecessarily dramatic, but to me, Taylor Swift is my number one hated person. Like, I defend Hitler more than I defend Taylor Swift, because actually, I wouldn’t defend her.
So, just to start off:
Taylor Swift is an exhibitionist.
And now with her new song, she is a self-proclaimed “Villain.”
except she’s not.
She’s not self-aware enough to be a villain. Typically, pop culture villains take full responsibility of who they are.
“But B, she is literally making fun of herself, because she doesn’t give a fuck what anyone has to say now.”
Oh, yeah, you’re right guys.
She knows what people have said about her, but I’m pretty sure she accepts no responsibility for her reputation what-so-ever. She’s still attached to that victim narrative.
“So, exhibitionist, eh, B?”
Yes sir, you know: a person who behaves in an extravagant way in order to attract attention?
Yes, I know, we are all exhibitionist in someway or another, but the audacity she has truly amazes me. Yes, Kanye started that feud with her eight years ago, but then she wrote a song about him. She called him her friend when she presented the award to him, and she lied, in some undeniable way/shape/form, about her knowledge of “Famous”, and she is constantly writing break up songs without acknowledging her role she played in them.
We know she can make fun of herself, (does anyone remember Shake it Off?) and we know she has the ability to say something without saying anything at all. (the snake tweet, anyone?)
Reinventing yourself happens. Who hasn’t tried to become someone new at the start of the school year? Moving away to college is the perfect time to become who you want to be. Even Miley Cyrus has realized that although she’s not the same as she was a year ago, she’s not afraid of who she once was. She owns it.
You just can’t be a self-proclaimed villain while you’re still playing the victim card, and Taylor, you could do so many things. You control your career and your music, you challenged (and took down) Apple, and ultimately, you could stop saying you were “made” to do anything.
Okay, now to the real issue that I think has me crying myself to sleep last night as well as tonight. (I would just like to take a break to remind everyone, YES. I KNOW. I am very much overreacting, I’m ridiculous, and I’m just being a bitch because instead of saying why this is upsetting to me, I am refusing to acknowledge that sometimes I am triggered by her stupid lawsuit from April.)
This single dollar that was issued to her after the jury ruled in her favor, is not symbolic to me. This lawsuit is about an instance that happened in 2013. Now, I know the statute of limitations is not up, not even close, but this dollar that everyone is talking about, has literally no value to me. I understand that in this sexual assault case, it’s not about the money, but that’s not just this case. Most sexual assault cases are never about the money, they are about justice being brought to the aggressor. Taylor Swift got this man fired, and after he calculated all the money lost, he decided to sue her. I mean, understandable. However, she seemed to turn this into an “I was assaulted because he touched my butt during a photo-opt and you couldn’t see his hands” situation.
This is a man’s life. This is not a publicity stunt for feminism.
How many times have you taken group photos where you can’t see someone’s hands? Hmm? Do you accuse them of groping you? And let’s take this into consideration: Taylor Swift is an amazon woman who insists on wearing heels anyway, so is there any way he could have touched her butt, not realizing that she is a fucking giant and her butt is going to be higher up since she is SEVEN THOUSAND FEET TALL??
Okay, whatever. Exaggeration, but still.
as for the photo, I will say that it is just awkward. It looks as if it was snapped as he was going in to put his arm around her waist, or after and he is moving away.
But this is still not the point I am trying to make.
Taylor Swift, a high-profile celebrity, won one (1) dollar in a court case because she was groped.
This is aggravating to me in so many ways. She is a high-profile celebrity; she can afford the best of the best lawyers, and she ended up with a jury of six women and two men. That is rare. Most sexual assaults/rape cases do not happen like this.
I understand the importance of speaking up, but if you are raped, you’re more likely to keep it to yourself. We have been conditioned that it was our fault, we wore something skimpy, we were asking for it, etcetera, but that’s not the half of it.
It’s just frustrating because G has never been sexually assaulted so he doesn’t understand how the mindset works.
You don’t tell someone. You just blame yourself; asking why it happened to you, thinking about what you could have done differently, and if you do tell someone, will they believe you? At some point, you will believe that you deserved it, because you shouldn’t have been that drunk, that flirty, that trusting, that whatever it may be.
When you go to court, it’s never about money. Taylor Swift may have helped women stand up for themselves, because it’s “the principle of the matter” but it’s not really beneficial to see a celebrity have yet another success. How many woman are going to come forth, lose, and then no one will ever believe them again? How many women will keep their composure when having to sit through a trial with their attacker in the same room? How many women will have a jury composed of more women than men? Not everyone can afford this incredible lawyer that will practice and prep you for keeping your composure. Not everyone will vote to rule in your favor.
After writing this, I realise that I was upset with him for all the wrong reasons, and I honestly went about it in the worst way. I loved that he discussed this with me and had his own opinion and point of view, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t convey my reasoning well enough, and that just upset me even more.
I know that had I told him why this upset me so much, going into more detail than I will on here, he would have been understanding, but that’s not something I’m ready to let come back to the surface after years of pushing it down.
Now, does anyone have any ideas of how I can apologize?
it’s gonna have to be good, because I was so grumpy, and I feel awful.